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  • Rob Will

One Apple, One Orange Twice A Year

Updated: Sep 29, 2023

December 23 6:47 PM

I woke up earlier and did some nice yoga/ meditation, centering my mind and relaxing my body. I didn’t do any writing yesterday. What I did I do?……

Engage in a dreadful amount of sleep deprivation. I got up yesterday and found out that there was no hot water. So, I had to make myself stay awake in order to speak with a Sergeant about the problem when he came around. Normally, we’re woken up on a consistent basis, day and night. It’s impossible to sleep for more than an hour without being pulled from your sleep by a variety of noises: count time(!), clean-up crew, chow-time(!), scream-talking(!) by other inmates, beating on doors, slamming gates, slamming doors, etc!, etc!, etc! But, I wanted to absolutely make sure I was awake so I didn’t miss the Sergeant, therefore I read and read till he came around. I find it hard to write when I’m in an extreme — meaning more than normal — sleep deprived state, so I didn’t write at all yesterday.

I read Neil Gaiman’s “Odd and the Frost Giants” which is an alright little book, it’s basically a retelling of tales from Norse mythology. It’s something I’d give my son and stepson to read. Then, I started on “American Gods” by Gaiman. I thought I’d be more impressed by it than I actually am. I’m into the book and I’m a bit disappointed…

I think I’ll go ahead and kick back and read some more of the book for a while…


Christmas Day

4:52 am

An apple and an orange… We only get fresh fruit twice a year, on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I just got up about an hour or so ago for breakfast and ate my orange and apple. I finished Gaiman’s “American Gods” and it was actually pretty good. It started raining so I had to pick up all my stuff off the floor because my cell leaks very bad. I had a stack of legal papers on my desk so I figured I’d just do some more reading. I picked up Neil Gaiman’s “Neverwhere” and finished it in one sitting. It’s better than his “American Gods”.

So, I finished reading “Neverwhere”, washed some clothes, cleaned up a bit and got some rest. Last time I wrote, I was thinking of writing about what I’d like to be doing if I was out there right now, along with writing about what I am doing in here. However, I think it’s important to talk about what’s been going on around here lately…

Things have been bad. Things have been very, very bad. I’m quite sure everyone in the industrialized world has heard about the wretched antics of Richard Tabler, the Texas Death Row inmate who called Texas state senator John Whitmire from a cell phone and threatened him. That was around early October. We went on lockdown shortly after that and the gates of hell were opened…

“Abandon all hope, ye who enter”

Years ago, I saw some illustrations of Dante’s Inferno, perhaps, by Gustave Dore, but I can’t exactly remember. If Dante were alive today and had intimate knowledge of the happenings here over the last two months, I’m sure he would include descriptions of Texas Death Row in his depiction of Hell. And, Dore would draw the images when he did the illustrations (or whoever did the illustrations I saw). And what would these images look like? How would these images be described with words? …

The human animal learns through study, observation and experience. I’ve found it hard to properly describe this environment with only words. However, people on the outside can’t actually experience this environment, so by describing my experiences I hope to allow people a window of study and observation. I actually had a calendar with many specific events marked down but it was (quite conveniently) thrown away during a shakedown…

Yes, shakedowns. Usually, we have a major lockdown/shakedown once a year. We have regular cell searches and shakedowns all the time though. The main difference between a major shakedown and a regular shakedown is that during a major shakedown the entire unit is on lockdown and we’re only allowed showers three times a week and we’re given Johnny Sacks instead of trays.

Since the Tabler Incident shakedowns have been straight up out of control. They’ve put the entire unit on lockdown three separate times and they’ve searched — meaning examined thoroughly and ravaged — our property a seemingly countless number of times. Staff have been arbitrarily destroying people’s property with sadistic glee and confiscating property for no warranted reason. They’ve been giving people unwarranted disciplinary cases which have been resulting in excessive amounts of restrictions. Hold up, cold Christmas tray time…

Twice a year we get decent meals, on Christmas and Thanksgiving. First, they’ll bring a cold tray — which consists of dessert items, pickles, etc. — and then a hot tray with a little Turkey and some stuffing, “hot” items. The cold tray they served us today was the absolute worst ever. They usually will give us some pickles, olives, celery, and onions on our Christmas cold tray. Not this time. It’s really almost comical how they keep finding ways to fuck with us, all of us, in retaliation for the Tabler situation. I can just imagine whoever was in charge of deciding what would be on the Christmas tray this year saying: “They don’t deserve any goddamn pickles, celery, or olives and onions this year!! They should all suffer for the stupid shit Tabler pulled!!”

Later, I think I’ll detail certain instances of more-than-normal oppression but for now I think I’ll do some reading and wait for this hot tray to come around. I’ve been on a fiction spree and I think I’ll continue it with Gaiman’s “Stardust”. Christianity borrowed the birthday of the Persian — and later — Roman God Mithras for the birthday of Jesus, so I’ll sign off by saying Happy Birthday to Jesus and Mithras!

Death to Complacency,

Life to Free Thought:


*I haven’t abandoned all hope, but it seems like a lot of people here have…

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